North Pole makes list of most affordable housing markets.
You've probably seen those lists of most-affordable places to live, and you may have wondered about them. My favorite affordable city was a Forbes Magazine hot pick a few years back that turned out to be, not a city, but a crime-infested military housing project attached to a huge Army base in Texas. But the computer liked it, and the crack staff at Forbes didn't know any better, so it made Top Ten, complete with breezy overview. You may have moved there because of it.
Maybe Forbes can blame Rupert Murdoch. Another pie for Mr. Murdoch, please!
Which may or may not be an appropriate introduction to Coldwell Banker's Home Listing Report, "a snapshot survey of listing prices for four-bedroom, two-bathroom homes in more than 2,300 North American markets". Released June 16, 2011 the Home Listing Report was immediately picked up by print and Internet news outlets including InvestorPlace, whose June 20th rehash of the Coldwell press release has the honor of coming up first if you Google "affordable places to live".
InvestorPlace leads off with Coldwell's number 10 "most affordable", Sioux City IA. Coincidentally, its description of Sioux City as "home to many parks, including Stone State Park, a haven for hikers and picnickers" is lifted directly from the Home Listing Report. (Sioux City sounds like the kind of place Sinclair Lewis could have used as the basis for his famous novel of Midwestern parochialism, Main Street, and maybe did.) The article features a Sioux City home currently for sale, 1630 S. Helen St., an ascetic-looking bungalow with no discernible landscaping listed at a bargain-priced $92,450.
I'll take two!
Curious as to what estimated monthly mortgage payments of $511 will get you these days, I Googled the Helen St. address and found the home on Trulia. Clicking on the listing's six photos gained me four under-exposed and mystifying shots of the interior, one shot of a kitchen with all the personality of your dentist's operatory and many of the same finishes, and the exterior shot InvestorPlace used which suggests that curb appeal is optional in Sioux City real estate. I also discovered that the fair Helen has languished on the market since March 27, with three price reductions adding to her ignominy. I guess folks in Sioux City don't know the belle of the ball when they see her.
A link on Helen's Web page got me the valuable advice, volunteered by a local, that if my heart was set on Sioux City, rather than on its nice suburbs to the south, including something called the Dunes, that I should avoid the area between 28th and Transit. Thanks to Trulia's handy map, I was able to determine that Helen is located between 28th and Transit.
But what about those idyllic suburbs? A quick check of the Sioux City Journal's website netted me these headlines: "Life at the Dunes: Levee patrol, soggy basements" and "At the Dunes, it's a long road ahead". Apparently someone put Sioux City next to the Missouri River, which as you may have heard, floods at this very moment. As does the Little Sioux River, which I'm reliably informed threatens Correctionville.
Now that I'm on a roll, let's mention the Sioux City economy. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics Economy at a Glance for the Greater Sioux City area, employment there is declining in four of the five major employment categories. Only Leisure and Hospitality, that notoriously overpaid segment, has seen an increase in employment over the past twelve months. Average weekly earnings for May 2011 was $643.13. For the San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara Metropolitan Statistical Area? $1350.89.
And now that I've dropped the gloves, let's talk about Sioux City weather. Yes, those low low payments of $511 a month still get you weather. Lots of weather, in fact, according to the National Weather Service's website. Here are some fun weather facts for Sioux City:
All this for only $511 a month! What a great alternative to overpriced Silicon Valley real estate!
Of course, you didn't read this posting to find out about Sioux City IA. You read this posting because I mentioned North Pole, which until now you thought was peopled solely by Santa and his little helpers. Apparently there's a subtle but meaningful difference between the North Pole of story and song and North Pole AK, because according to the Home Listing Report, the average list price of a North Pole AK four-bedroom two-bath bungalow (igloo?) is a hefty $262,455. But that's rock bottom by Alaskan standards—go figure—because the same house in Anchorage will set you back a cool $321,973.
I'm sure the only reason North Pole AK hasn't made someone's Top Ten List of Affordable Places (or Top Ten Places to Retire To) is that the name is vaguely familiar, even to financial magazine writers.