If you ain't feelin', you ain't buyin'.
Is your head telling you to buy, but something—your gut, maybe?—holding you back? Having a hard time finding the right home in your price range, even though you've been looking for months, maybe decades? Not willing to make the compromises necessary to buy in your price range? Wondering why all these other people are buying homes that aren't perfect?
Here's a guilt-free, non-judgmental response: not everyone really wants to own their own home. And the people who don’t, can’t understand the people who do. No one is right or wrong—it’s like whether you like vanilla or chocolate. There’s no right answer.
You probably like where you rent and, really, you don't mind renting. Renting frees you to focus on the things that are important to you: entertainment, socializing, vacations, work. But everyone you know says prices and interest rates have gone down so much that you're a fool not to buy. And maybe your rent's been raised. So you're out every week-end looking at homes, because you think that's what today's modern adult does. You've even hooked up with an agent. But you're still not feelin' it.
Here's one reason you're not: the people who are buying homes now, who buy homes in any market, seller’s market or buyer’s, don’t like renting—they hate renting. And it's not because their agent told them to hate renting. It's because renting goes against everything they believe in.
They're different from you in another way: they buy with their heart, not their head. Buying a home is very much like choosing a spouse: you go with your heart. At least I hope you do. Of course, when I say “buy with your heart” I don’t mean that you should be willing to buy any house and pay any price. No buyer is like that. What I do mean is this: when you're hitting open houses just because someone told you now is a good time to buy, or just because the person who does your taxes said you need a tax write-off, that’s buying with your head. That's why you're not feelin' it.
And when you're buying with your head you don’t have the same strong motivation to buy as the buyers buying with their hearts. Your head is always holding you back. Or your head is telling you to make a dumb mistake, like buying a house in a bad neighborhood or on a busy street because it’s cheaper (a “bargain”) instead of buying in the nice quiet neighborhood your heart wants.
Or maybe you're waiting for more stability in your life. Maybe you're waiting for some person or ill-defined event or Act of God to settle down, not realizing that buying a home (that you can afford) is one of the most effective ways to make your life more stable.
Or maybe you subconsciously think you're not up to the responsibilities of being a homeowner. Maybe your gut tells you it's a bigger job than you can handle, or than you want to handle. Head says "buy", gut says "no thanks". Gut wins.
It's also likely that some of the things your friends have told you about buying a home, and some of the things you’ve read, scare you. Buying a home for the first time is scary, but I’ve found that friends who try to help often make it scarier. Like when they tell you you won't be able to sell the simple starter home you're thinking of buying without making expensive upgrades. Or that HOA dues are a waste of money. This kind of advice makes a scary and very complicated situation even more scary and complicated, far more so than it really is.
A big part of being a successful homebuyer is feeling confident enough about yourself and your agent to rise above the scariness. But you can't do that unless you're feelin' it.