The Cranky Files
Etiquette tips for prospective renters.
Two weeks ago I instructed my fellow agents on how to handle themselves on broker's tour. Last week, I passed on a few etiquette tips to open house attendees. This week, I'm going to do the same for prospective renters.
Either I'm on a roll, or I've got a few things to get off my chest.
I've been leasing residential properties since 1989, and I'll be the first to say that the overwhelming majority of prospective renters I meet are thoroughly enjoyable people who seem to know the ground rules for any successful social interaction, commercial or otherwise: common sense and common decency. But there are always the exceptions. So herewith a few do's and don'ts.
Don't show up forty-five minutes late and not apologize. For that matter, don't show up forty-five minutes late.
Do be amazed that I'd wait forty-five minutes. Back in the day, when leasing was a far bigger part of my job description than it is now, I waited exactly fifteen minutes.
Don't walk through the front door making snide remarks about the house.
Do know that rentals are rentals. That is to say, rentals were hiding behind the door when they passed out the granite. Be open to the idea that less is more, at least in this area. If you're looking for a palace under $5k a month, you've embarked on an eternal quest.
Don't compare my small, dated rental to the 4000-sq.ft. McMansion on four acres you had back in Indiana for the same price.
Do be aware that this is one of the most expensive places on Earth to live, and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Don't pin your hopes on the landlord replacing the celery green carpeting in the living room with gleaming hardwood floors. What you see is what you probably get, either because the landlord doesn't want to spend the money, doesn't have the money to spend, or doesn't trust you (or the next tenant) with hardwood floors.
Do feel for the landlord who's come to love (or at least learned to forget) the celery green carpeting in the living room. Ditto the leasing agent.
Do be upfront about number and size of pets. Don't let your 15-lb. dog turn into a 25-lb. dog turn into a 45-lb. dog plus a cat.
Don't pull up to the house looking and acting like the Foster Farms chicken-wannabes in their '66 Belvedere, bedraggled and road-weary from their eternal quest for self-annihilation. Having a job, and not just an idea, is also helpful.
Do realize that, fair or not, you'll be judged by tiresomely conventional standards: credit and tenant history and employment. Yeah, it's a drag, but landlords tend to be pretty conventional themselves.
Don't assume that your first apartment will be merely an extension of your dorm room, only more party-like. All-nighters and noisy arrests in the parking lot at 3 AM will wear out your welcome. As will locking yourself out of your apartment every week or so.
Do understand that renting has an unavoidable element of uncertainty. The landlord may decide to sell "your" home in a year, or move back in, or raise the rent, or try his luck with another tenant. Or the benevolent, lovable owner of your apartment building may pass on and his heirs sell to someone who kicks everyone out, refurbishes the units and rents them for 50 percent more. Crave certainty? Buy a home with a 30-year fixed and hope they don't build a freeway through what was once your neighborhood.